Album of Past Humiliations
by Adagan
Summary: "Kids I'm going to show you all something amazing, shut up and pay attention! This is my "Album of Past Humiliations" it holds every embarrassing story, every dirty secret, every idiotic argument and any other thing your parents have ever tried to hide from you…" of course Anna, being the wonderful friend she is intends to share all of these stories with the kids and us! Modern Day
1. Intermission 1: Prologue

Intermission 1: Prologue

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**AN: Before anything else I am dividing all of the thank yous I have, have ever had and ever will have evenly between Gunlord500, Silver Skura Queen, Lazerman789 and Haridon for reviewing "It Just So Happens" and making all of this possible. Here you all go! Enjoy your three and an eighth thank yous! (I'm kidding, you each get at least three and a seventh thank yous) My sister Xsctavsduuiv doesn't get any thank yous though because she only reviewed because I told her too... Love you sis! This is those parents' lives I promised you guys, told through a series of one-shots (none anywhere near as long as "It Just So Happens…") through a series of photographs. They aren't going to be told in any particular order one moment they may be in high school the next they've all graduated from college or whatever. There will also be "Intermissions" where we get to visit the kids in "current" time. But mostly the parents doing stupid or cute stuff. I would suggest reading "It Just So Happens…" before this but you don't HAVE to technically. The normal chapters will be MUCH longer than this one, this is just a introduction to the scenario. Thank you to anyone and everyone who read "It Just So Happens…" and anyone and everyone who reads this. So here we go the prequel/sequel to "It Just So Happens…"; "Album of Past Humiliations"…**

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"Kids I'm going to show you all something amazing" Anna informs Lucina, Gerome, Owain, Noire, Inigo, Severa, Morgan, Vert, Nah and Yarne.

The ten teenagers are sprawled about Anna's living room texting; they're all there because their parents just so happen to all be doing various activities. So Anna is getting paid to watch the kids.

"Do we have to?" Lucina asks their babysitter slash vice-principal unenthusiastically.

"Yeah, I'm not sure if we want to know what dark secrets you hold" Gerome adds flatly.

"Too bad you're going to see it anyways!" Anna decides instantly and angrily.

"But aunt Anna we are busy partaking in other activities!" Owain whines. The kids had taken to calling Anna "aunt Anna" to embarrass her at school, she doesn't mind but it confuses a lot of students and co-workers.

"Um, yes, if you don't mind aunt Anna I think we're all a bit too busy" Noire agrees without looking up.

"What on earth could be more important than seeing what I have to show you!" Anna demands crossly.

"Hmm, let's see… almost everything?" Inigo suggests sarcastically.

"We're busy texting friends" Severa replies from where she is lying on the ground.

"What friends?! The only friends you guys have are each other!" Anna observes.

"Exactly" Morgan agrees smugly, "who else would we text, no one else is cool enough to talk to us."

"Besides, talking takes SO much effort" Vert nods her approval of the statement.

"…You kids are ridiculous! And you're going to look at this because I promised myself a long time ago that I would humiliate your parents in front of their kids, and or, you" Anna explains.

"Isn't there a way to humiliate our parents without us having to pay attention?" Nah suggests.

"I agree, I'm kind of scared of whatever it is you did BEFORE the whole… firework incident" Yarne shudders.

"Shut up and pay attention, you are going to check this out" at this time Anna pulls out a crimson photo album crammed full with pictures and unseen horrors, "this is my "Album of Past Humiliations" it holds every embarrassing story, every dirty secret, every idiotic argument and any other thing your parents have ever tried to hide from you…"

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**AN: As I said, this is just an introductory chapter, all other chapters will be longer I promise. Anna will be featured in almost all stories but not all; definitely not all and she won't be the star of all of them either. I'm going to see what I can do about getting my sister to draw the photograph for each chapter as the cover image but if she decides not to because she's a lazy poo don't be disappointed. Fun fact: when I was writing "It Just So Happens…" Anna was only going to show up in that one part where Owain visits the office; but she ended up being way more important. There isn't much to say about this chapter so here's a preview for the next one!**

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_Meeting:_

_"Yeah but if he DOES die dibs on cleaning up the body" the weird one insisted cheerily._

_"If he dies dibs on taking the body home with me" the creepy student decided._

_"Aw, I wanted the body" the weird kid whined their protest "shouldn't I get the body since I'm going to clean it up?"_

_"No, the body is mine I just called it" the creepy student disagreed instantly._

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**I guess now that we're done with that it's Adagan _OUT_!**


	2. Chapter 1: Meeting

Chapter 1: Meeting

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**AN: Chapter one! Hooray! It's over twice as long as the prologue. The same rules as IJSH apply here, my ships are diamonds don't bother trying to sink them, flames are unwelcome. My sister didn't make a picture for this chapter but I think I can get something for the next one. Since I'm kind of out of thank yous anyone who favorited, followed or commented can evenly split up all the thank yous that my sister has! This chapter I don't actually name anyone until the very end so if you can guess all of them before I reveal congrats I guess. **

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_This_

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**represents a cutaway to "current" time with the children. That's all I have so say so now chapter… START!**

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This is where and when everything started, where and when we all met. It's not too hard to believe that thirteen strangers all had a class together is it? Admittedly it is a BIT hard to believe that half of a socials class became friends in one day but it happened nonetheless. We all became friends much like how you all did, but a little bit different too. Because you guys never had a red balloon to help ruin your lives.

It was the first day of grade eight, we were all in our social studies class and the teacher had stepped out to photocopy the course outline. A ditzy happy-go-lucky student was leaning back in their seat blowing up a bright red balloon.

"Can I have the balloon once you're done with it?" an immature student requested, entranced by the bright orb.

"Mm-hmm" the ditz nodded and kept the balloon in their mouth.

"How old ARE you, balloons are for like, five year olds" I teased both of the strangers.

"Five year olds or LIKE five year olds" a weird student joked lamely.

"Oh my gods did you seriously just say that?" a domestic student demanded with a slight chuckle.

"Hey!" the immature one whined and gave a not-so-threatening glare at me.

"If you keep acting like that you'll never get a boyfriend before the end of high school" a creepy student observed.

"I'll get a boyfriend on the first DAY of high school" the immature one decreed.

"Prove it" the creepy one challenged.

"Fine then" the immature student agreed, went over to a fairly normal student and kissed them passionately full on the mouth, "we're dating now."

"…What?" the normal kid demanded, stunned by the recent events.

"Congrats, first couple of the year" a clever kid sarcastically declared.

"Thanks" the immature student giggled happily and wrapped their arms around their new soulmate.

"…What?!" the normal student demanded yet again, still completely confused.

"Do you think he'll suffocate on that balloon?" the weird kid I mentioned earlier wondered randomly.

"Mrramph?" the ditz attempted to cry out but still has the balloon in their mouth.

"…That is a very disturbing and appalling thought, I would hope not" a serious student grimaced at the thought.

"Yeah but if he DOES die dibs on cleaning up the body" the weird one insisted cheerily.

"If he dies dibs on taking the body home with me" the creepy student decided.

"Aw, I wanted the body" the weird kid whined their protest "shouldn't I get the body since I'm going to clean it up?"

"No, the body is mine I just called it" the creepy student disagreed instantly.

"Call the insane asylum, I think they lost a couple of patients" an impulsive student joked quietly to the clever student sitting next to them, who snickered in agreement.

"Hey! Don't stop blowing up my balloon!" the immature student ordered as the ditz was about to remove the balloon from their mouth.

"But what if I suffocate and DIE?" the ditz wonders, the weird and creepy students' conversation unnerving him.

* * *

_"Are you really going to not tell us who's who the whole time? It's pretty obvious who some of them are" Severa points out._

_"Shut up, this is my story I'll tell it how I want! It's only for this one story anyways" Anna declares._

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"You aren't going to DIE, they're just kidding" a kind student sighed comfortingly.

"If you DO suffocate one of us will call the hospital, don't worry" the impulsive one insisted not so helpfully.

"I don't think that's what he wanted to hear" the clever one observed as the ditz continued to stare at the balloon like it was poisoned.

"I-it's okay, really! No one's going to suffocate and die probably!" a sweet student promised.

"Try again but without the "probably" this time" a bored kid offered when the statement didn't help.

"O-okay… it's okay, really! No one's going to suffocate and die hopefully!" the sweet kid tried again.

"Still no good, try ending it after "suffocate and die"" the serious one offered a suggestion.

"Alright; one more time… it's okay, really! If we're lucky no one's going to suffocate and die!" the sweet student attempted again.

"Nope still nothing, I guess that balloon isn't getting any bigger" the bored one sighed after yet another failure.

"But that's not fair! Do something!" the immature one ordered of their soulmate.

"M-me? What do you want me to do?!" said normal soulmate demanded.

"Don't be such a baby and finish blowing the balloon up already" the bored student told the ditzy one.

"Yeah, don't be such a coward it's just a balloon, you've taken on worse" the impulsive one agreed.

"Don't believe in yourself, believe in me who believes in you" a domestic student flatly encouraged.

So the ditz put the balloon in his mouth again… and he started to suffocate.

"Shit! He's dying someone call an ambulance!" the clever one started to panic.

"Does anyone know how to do any kind of first aid?!" the kind student demanded, also getting worried.

"I do but it's kind of gross…" the domestic one trailed off reluctantly.

"Someone's LIFE is on the line" the serious student reminded the domestic one quickly.

"Just J thrust it" the bored kid suggested at the same time.

"Right" the domestic child nodded and began to do so. I will shamefully admit that all I did at the time was take a picture of the madness, twelve freaking out kids, but at least I wasn't part of the other half of the class who just sat there and watched!

* * *

_"Why didn't you call 911 or something?! You're a terrible friend!" Vert observes harshly._

_"I didn't know we would become friends at the time and it all turned out okay in the end!" Anna justifies._

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Almost instantly the ditz coughed out the balloon… just as the teacher entered the class. I imagine it would be pretty gross to enter your classroom to see a student spit up a bright red rubbery object. But if I were him I probably wouldn't have given the thirteen teenagers in the midst of the madness detention. But I suppose he WAS one of the more strict teachers at the school but I'm getting off subject!

After school the thirteen of us were seated in our socials class. There was a lot of boredom going on in that class at that point in time… but it didn't last long.

"So… my name's Aidrian, sorry about causing all of this" the ditz sheepishly apologized.

"You are forgiven, I'm Nowi" the immature kid declares ever so humbly, not really.

"The name's Anna, future photographer nice to meet you all" I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life back then.

"Hi I'm Henry! I like blood and pain!" the weird boy introduced himself.

"Cherche, I hope we can all get along rather than fight" the domestic girl spoke up.

"…It's Tharja, I hope I never see most of you again" the creepy one declared.

"Uh, I'm Stahl, I um, eat food" the normal kid told us about himself, because reasons.

"I'm pretty sure everyone here eats food" the clever boy sighed somewhat joking and somewhat serious "call me Logan."

"My name is Panne, I am a vegetarian and like rabbits" the serious student explained about herself.

"It's great to meet you all, you may call me Chrom, I think we'll get along so let's hang out sometime" the impulsive one smiled the suggestion.

"S-sounds good to me, I'm Cordelia by the way" the kind girl blushed and stared admiringly at the bluenette male.

"I agree, I'd like to be able to say I made SOME friends in high school, I'm Olivia" the sweet girl gave everyone an embarrassed smile.

"The name's Gaius, I'll hang out with you all again if you feed me candy" the bored kid finished the introductions.

"Oh yes… I believe we'll have a GREAT time being friends…" I grinned at the group, already planning some of the terrible things we would do later on, which all began with our meeting.

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**AN: Don't scream at me your disapproval I'll explain the descriptions now. Aidrian (me) is called ditz because he sort of is; I understand that you don't know him well yet but you shall eventually come to understand the happy-go-lucky optimistic nature I wrote Aidrian with. Nowi is immature for obvious reasons… it's NOWI what else could I do? Henry is weird because… he's weird, is there even any debate about it? Cherche sews and cooks and stuff well so… yeah. Tharja is also obvious, she's creepy and I love her for it. Stahl is the closest character there is who's normal, thus he is normal. Logan is the tactician… he has to be clever or everyone else would be dead. Panne is calm, collected and takes things seriously… she is serious. Chrom does a lot of impulsive things, he decides to trust a random amnesiac stranger, need more be said? Cordelia is kind to everyone really so… nothing to say here. Olivia… nothing to say here either, she's a real sweetie. And lastly… Gaius… I don't know he just really isn't the kind of guy who cares, he joined an army for CANDY, bored just seemed to fit. Anyways, enough of that, next week the chapter will be posted on Monday as usual but it will be a Halloween special! That's all so now we have a preview for our next chapter, behold!**

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_Halloween:_

_"You didn't" Panne growled, narrowing her eyes dangerously at the ginger._

_"Easy Whiskers! It wasn't a big deal" Gaius insists raising his hands defensively._

_"It is a big deal, you are too old for people to actually give you candy for trick or treating, you stole that from a kid didn't you?" Panne accused._

_"No…! It was a joint effort… I took it from a couple of kids" Gaius admitted with very little shame._

_"Gaius… who did you take this from?" Panne demanded and when Gaius refused to speak she gave him a look that could challenge some of my own._

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**…Adagan ****_OUT_****!**


	3. Special 1: Halloween

AoPH Halloween Special:

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**AN: I know that it's a bit early in the story to have a special but to be honest I only actually posted the first chapter a couple weeks ago because I thought "if I start now, I can do the intro chapter next week and a Halloween special the week after!" So I posted, I was going to wait until I had a few more chapters written but meh. My sister drew a picture for last the last chapter so I guess in a couple of weeks when the next chapter comes out I'll have a picture for this chapter? I'm sorry that it's just a sketch and that it's super blurry and you can't see the whole thing but maybe someday she'll post it on her deviantart in better quality. I can't get the picture onto my computer right now because it's a crapcomputer that's super old but I love him anyways, so the picture _should _be up by the end of this week. This chapter I personally think is really cute but it might just be me. Friendly reminder of my diamond ships everybody! I love my preciouses so I will write them making out because I can! There isn't much horror in this chapter; just ships, which some people might find my ships really scary so you never know! This might be someone's worst nightmare! But for everyone else enjoy the fluff!**

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"Gaius, you are a grown man out of college, you are not going trick or treating" Panne said the words in ways that would make anyone else back down in a heartbeat, however Gaius is not just anyone when it comes to candy.

"But Panne it's free candy" Gaius whines to his friend, "Nowi agrees with me, we should go trick or treating!"

"Nowi has been eight years old for the last twenty years both in mind and body, of course she wants to go trick or treating" Panne sighed irritably.

"Excuse you?! Are you trying to say I'm immature! I act my age! People my age go trick or treating all the time!" Nowi whined defiantly.

"See? It's two against one, we're going" Gaius decided, Panne simply raised an eyebrow.

"And everyone else says no, so it's actually ten to two, or simplified to five to one" Panne disagreed, throwing in those stupid facts that smart people know.

"Uh, there are thirteen of us, you only counted twelve, who aren't you counting?" Logan pointed out.

"Stahl doesn't count since he'll do whatever Nowi says" Panne declared and it made perfect sence.

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_"Dad is such a doormat… he lets mom get away with everything" Nah huffs in agreement to past Panne's claim._

_"He really didn't change did he…?" Anna rhetorically wonders of no one in particular before snapping out of it and resuming our Halloween special._

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"Fine, we won't do trick or treating but can we at least dress up? I wanna be a dragon!" Nowi excitedly declared.

"Ooh! I have some great costumes for everyone! And I can give you all a pretty sweet discount" I sang temptingly.

"No, knowing you Anna, they'll be dreadfully embarrassing and expensive" Chrom grimaced at my generosity.

"Excuse me Chrom, I think that SOMEONE might happen to be forgetting about SOMETHING with the potential to ruin the remainder of your life" I gave Chrom a look that my ancestor learnt from demons.

"So I think we all agree that we'll do as Anna says right?" Cordelia instantly suggested.

"She has dirt on you too?" Chrom asks like the idiot who doesn't understand what I'm capable of.

"It's Anna, she has dirt on people who haven't been born" Tharja said with severe distaste, see Tharja gets it!

"Of course I do, you don't want to know what your daughter does when she's twelve on November eighth" I chortled.

* * *

_"How do_ YOU_ know about that?!" Noire shrieks in terror._

_"Oh honey I knew about it before it even happened" Anna grins in a falsely sweet way that only she can._

* * *

"What?" Tharja gave me a weirded out look.

"Nothing!" I quickly smiled and waved her off, "so, everyone take these, come to my place at seven, wear your costumes, all of it, I'll mail you the bill within the week!"

With that I handed everyone a bag that I obviously had pre-prepared, I'd had them prepared for three months.

So it was six thirty PM and I was at home looking fabulous. I'd taken my hair out of it's usual high ponytail and done it in a low braid instead. I'd wrapped a scarf around the lower half of my face and my head, my outfit was mostly different shades of blue with a red pattern of an eye and a tear on the front, knives hanging from my legs and I had a harp. Of course I still wouldn't be able to play it but it was a prop.

A knock came to my door half an hour early and of course it was Cordelia. She was wearing a bright red kimono with a green sash and a yellow hair clip. I know that it sounds like it wouldn't look good but it worked okay! A pair of scissors were also uncomfortably gripped in her hands.

"Hey Anna, I decided to come a bit early, do you need any help?" Cordelia offered sweetly.

"Nah, I've got it all set up, but come in! The others'll get here eventually" I insisted and dragged the girl into my lai- um… home… yeah, that's it, my home… totally what I meant to say.

"Er, I guess that's alri- holy crap! Anna is that an original copy of "How to Make Him Fall For You in a Fornight"?!" Cordelia demanded grabbing one of my many expensive original edition books.

"Huh? Yeah I guess it is, do you like that kind of crap Cordy?" I wondered.

"N-no! Of course I don't, I-I just happened to find it in the library once and…" Cordelia attempts to hide her love for the book.

"Oh I know, you're hoping to get lucky with one of the guys aren't you? Which one? C'mon you can tell me!" I teased mercilessly.

"No! You'll laugh!" Cordelia accused the truth and refused to spill the beans.

"I'll bet that I can guess! Let me see…" before I could make a guess at whoever Cordelia was so madly in love with despite it being so obvious a knock came to the door.

"Thank the gods… I'll get it!" Cordelia quickly decided and ran for the door leaving the book behind.

"We're here" Cherche announced and I squeed happily at her costume. Her hair is done in pigtails, her shirt is black, her skirt is red, her tie is half black and half white her pigtails are tied up with bear ponytail holders, one is black and one is white. And Logan… wasn't wearing his coat.

"Logan… where's your coat?" I growled angrily, who did he think he was not doing as I said.

"It's in my bag, it's **REALLY** heavy Anna I'm going to overheat in it" Logan whined like the prissy little baby he was being.

"Put that coat on or bad things will happen" I told Logan and gave him my most threatening look.

"…Okay" Logan squeaked and he put on the dark purple coat with grand gold and violet embellishments, and patterns over his off-white shirt and pants and brown leather boots.

"Good!" I smiled sweetly and I'll admit somewhat evilly but hey! To be fair it was Halloween.

"I brought cupcakes" Cherche interrupted the tenseness with her adorable tray of cute little cupcakes.

"Ooh! Thanks Cherche!" I happily took one and took the tray, "you three just hang out, I'm sure the others'll be here soon enough! I'm not done with you yet" I mumbled in Cordelia's ear as I left and then dropped the cupcakes off in the kitchen.

A knock came almost instantly after I set them down, "I'm coming!" I yelled.

"Anna! Look! I'm a dragon!" Nowi happily declared and twirled in the light green fluffy dragon costume, you now those Halloween costumes that five year olds wear, they're kind of fluffy and have those hoods and are almost like footsie pyjamas? Yeah that's what it looked like.

"You look adorable, see Logan! Her costume is heavy too and she isn't complaining!" I yelled at Logan who had collapsed on the couch.

"I'm dying of heat stroke! And it's October!" Logan shouted back, his voice slightly muffled due to his face being in the couch.

"Oh quit your whining! So Nowi where's Stahl?" I wondered, noticing his absence.

"The kitchen" Nowi replied simply, I turned and of course there he was, cheerily devouring all of Cherche's cupcakes, wearing the bright blue suit and red tie that I'd instructed him to wear.

"Of course, oi! Stahl! Leave some for everyone else!" I ordered, and then Stahl said something but I have no idea what he said because his mouth was full.

"I have more in the car" Cherche whispered to me, but Stahl heard her of course.

"I ate those already" Stahl called after swallowing and before going on to the next cupcake.

"You what?!" Cherche demanded, looking partially startled and partially irritated.

"I could smell them before I parked my car, and now they're gone" Stahl shrugged as he licked his fingers of all that was left of Cherche's delicious cupcakes.

Cherche gave Stahl a disgusted disbelieving look before sighing and shaking her head, giving up.

And then the doorbell rang.

"Gods! When I say seven I expect everyone to be here at seven thirty!" I declared as I went to the door AGAIN.

"Very funny Anna, make the vegetarian wear a bunny costume" Panne irritably scoffed in her rabbit ears.

"You aren't even wearing it properly!" I declared, she was only wearing; admittedly the key, part of the costume!

"Anna I am not going to wear a swimsuit and fishnet tights" Panne growled and she entered my lovely abode.

"Fine, fine, did you see anyone else on your way here?" I sighed and asked, if someone's about to get here I might as well leave the door open.

"Chrom's walking, he should be here in a few minutes" Panne replied and joined my other irritatingly early guests.

"Since when does _Chrom_ come to anything early?!" I demanded, "he'd better get here soon or I'll get cold."

"Yes! Can I be cold…? Please?" Logan pleaded as he slowly died of heat and dehydration.

"Hey everyone" Chrom grinned, he was wearing a mostly white yukata with a light blue wave like pattern on the sleeves and bottom edge, but his arm wasn't through one of the sleeves, under the purposely improperly worn yukata is a black shirt with red trim, and a wooden sword with "Lake Toga" engraved in it was by his side, and next to him was the reason he came early, Olivia, there's nothing unusual about Olivia showing up early. Olivia just looked awesomer than usual.

"Anna why am I dressed as you?" Olivia demanded nervously as she fiddled with the edge of my awesome shirt.

"Because obviously I needed to make someone do it" I shrugged and closed the door ignoring Logan's pained whine.

"Uh, what's wrong with him?" Chrom wondered, giving his best friend a disturbed look.

"He's just whining about his costumes being too hot" I waved Chrom's comment off, "more importantly you're getting rather friendly with Olivia~"

"Wh-what?!" Olivia squeaked and her face instantly went bright red like it tends to.

"W-we just decided to walk together" Chrom mumbled, his face tinting pink as well.

"Yeah sure, move along you two" and I shoved the two towards the other people I associated myself with.

"Hey everybody" Henry happily grinned as he simply opened the door, no knocking, talk about rude. He was wearing a short light brown jacket with a blue and a white wing overlapping on the back over simple clothing and with fake machinery strapped to his waist. He was also covered in blood which was concerning.

"Yeah, sure, come on in" I growled, seriously, who ever shows up on time these days?!

"Ooh! I know who you are! I'm a big fan of her work" Henry praised Cherche's costume.

"Henry, I don't even know who I am but I don't think that she's a real person" Cherche declared.

"I'm a fan nonetheless" Henry simply continued to grin, "man, the first executions were always the most gruesome it was great! Something about those chains was so awesome!"

"The second trials always make me cry though" I sighed in memory of the sobs of second trials.

* * *

_"But in the fourth game the second trial wasn't sad" Vert declared curiously._

_"The fourth game didn't exist at the time, it was only one and two" Anna sighs at Vert's misunderstanding._

_"Seriously, what game are you talking about?" Severa demands, being a pitiful human being who doesn't understand greatness._

* * *

"Seriously, what game are you two talking about?" Cordelia demanded being a pitiful human being who doesn't understand greatness.

Henry and I gave her a silent dirty look and then resumed our debate about trials and executions.

"Is Aidrian here yet?" Tharja demanded as she opened the door rudely, at least Henry said "hello"! Tharja's costume didn't seem like it would suit her, it was a cute white dress with a simple cut and she had fairy wings on her

"Does no one have any manners!" I cried out throwing my hands irritably into the air.

"You must be rubbing off on us" Panne scoffed and at the time I decided to let that one slide.

"No, Aidrian isn't here yet" Stahl answered Tharja's question, he'd taken up eating a bag of chips on the couch with Nowi (sort of).

"But he left his house twenty three minutes ago and his car is outside" Tharja declared glaring at us as if we were all lying to her.

"What?" I headed to the window and saw Aidrian cheerfully arguing with a small child in a yellow costume with pointed ears and a lightning tail, Aidrian himself was wearing a red and white vest over his black t-shirt and simple blue jeans and an iconic red and white hat.

"Aidrian what are you doing?!" I yelled at him, he looked over instantly and waved quickly.

"I gotta catch 'em all!" he shouted innocently in reply I face-palmed just then, I really, legitimately did.

"Tharja go get him" I ordered and she had no objections; now that I think about it I didn't see either of them for the rest of the evening. After that we all just hung out for a bit, talking about stuff, telling weird horror stories, I found that a lot of them were starring either Henry or Tharja as some creepy evil force. And then at seven thirty Gaius showed up, LIKE A NORMAL PERSON!

"Hey, sorry I'm late" Gaius was wearing a silver shirt and a pleated black miniskirt both with teal trim and highlights, his short hair was put up in really tiny pigtails, but the most interesting thing was the large sack he held in his hands "you know Tharja's-"

"You didn't" Panne growled, narrowing her eyes dangerously at the ginger.

"Easy Whiskers! It wasn't a big deal" Gaius insistedraising his hands defensively.

"It is a big deal, you are too old for people to actually give you candy for trick or treating, you stole that from a kid didn't you?" Panne accused.

"No…! It was a joint effort… I took it from a couple of kids" Gaius admitted with very little shame.

"Gaius… who did you take this from?" Panne demanded and when Gaius refused to speak she gave him a look that could challenge some of my own.

"Ricken and Donnel" Gaius admitted and glanced away from Panne's irritated glare.

Panne sighed and shook her head, she then snatched the bag from Gaius' hands and began to leave, "we're taking this back."

"No! Whiskers don't!" Gaius pleaded and chased after her and to him more importantly, the candy.

Those two didn't know it at the time but they had just walked away from the best goddamn Cards Against Humanity game ever played. Now, from this part onwards how about we don't ask how I know any of this.

"Whiskers come on! I'll die without candy!" Gaius exclaimed as he followed Panne's brisk pace as he made grabs for the sack.

"You will not die without this candy I think you'll die with it due to the diabetes you should have" Panne scoffed, continuously expertly yanking the sack away from Gaius' reach.

"I don't have diabetes and I never will!" Gaius insisted the inexplicably true fact.

"Someday, reality will fall back into place, you will get super diabetes and you will die" Panne told Gaius, "seriously where do those kids live?!"

"So give me the candy! I won't tell anyone that you were being nice!" Gaius promised, of course that didn't help though.

"I'm not giving it back" Panne sighed decisively and moved the bag further away from Gaius.

"Give it back, as in you're admitting that is was indeed mine" Gaius pointed out, Panne rolled her eyes and walked faster, Gaius tried to keep up, "C'mon Whiskers, I'll give you half- no that's too much… an eighth of the candy!"

"I have it right now, if I wanted I could have all of it" Panne declared and gave Gaius an evilly smug look.

"You wouldn't" Gaius insisted, and in that moment he appeared to be more terrified then any human being had ever been.

"But I am" Panne grinned cruelly popped a small red hard candy into her mouth.

Gaius made a face at Panne's antics that only made her smirk grow. But said smirk vanished when Gaius stood on his tiptoes and crushed his lips against hers. The kiss was quick but passionate and when they parted Gaius smiled broadly. He stuck out his tongue and there was the bright red candy.

Panne glared and did the same thing he'd done seconds earlier. The kiss lasted longer that time, I can only assume the candy being tossed back and forth between the two mouths. However the funny thing was; the kiss lasted long after I knew the candy must have dissolved.

It was only after they separated that Gaius and Panne noticed the "ew"s and giggles of trick or treaters.

"How about we go to my place and finish this candy?" Panne suggested in a quiet voice that wasn't quite a whisper.

"Sounds sweet" Gaius grinned and grabbed her hand, the two then headed down the street.

"…You know you look ridiculous in a miniskirt" Panne stated a fact that she'd kept quiet about for a while.

"Really? I think it's kind of sexy" Gaius teased dusting off his skirt jokingly.

"Don't flatter yourself" Panne scoffed, and nudged him, but she was smiling.

"At least I'm wearing all of my costume" Gaius pointed out and nudged back.

"Well maybe if you play your cards right I'll let you see what I didn't wear" Panne told him, Gaius grinned.

And Yarne I can only assume that that was the first time your parents made love.

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_"…What?"_

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**AN: If you couldn't figure it out that last line belonged to Yarne, precious little baby Yarne. Do your best guessing everyone's costumes, some of them are really obvious and others are more obscure but my profile states most of the series that most of the costumes are from. Maybe not Tharja's or Stahl's and definitely not Anna's but a lot of them are jokes on voice actors so if you want to figure it out you can check with that however others like Aidrian of Cordelia were just because I felt like it. If there is ever a fourth game for the series Henry was talking about (ha, I'm not giving out any freebies for those of you who don't know!) and the second trial is the most heart-wrenching thing ever created then I suppose my baby just has weird taste, she was raised by Tharja though so it wouldn't be surprising. Now, some of the jokes I made in this chapter need a bit of explaining. Let's talk about sex** **Logan's coat, I notice that the tactician coat in Awakening (have your stinking freebie you losers…) looks really thick and heavy, so sometimes I think "how can he stand to wear that heavy-ass coat all the time? He must be dying of heat!" so I made a joke about it. That's all I think… preview!**

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_Hair:_

_"Most of you get to hang out in the hall while I work my magic on my test subject" I chuckled demonically, ignoring Gaius._

_"Test… subject? Who's that gonna be?" Stahl worriedly demanded._

_"Whoever's meanest to me today I guess, so make sure you're all extra nice!" I laughed cruelly at everyone's terrified looks._

_"Oh glorious Anna, our great and true goddess, please spare me from your wrath!" Logan exclaimed and bowed down._

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**There will be no chapter next week, I'm moving to an every other week schedule so enjoy the wait! Adagan ****_OUT_****!**


	4. Chapter 2: Hair

Chapter 2: Hair  


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**AN: I know that this chapter is late but I was out of town yesterday and couldn't update! I'm really sorry to anyone out there who cares! Oh and about that picture... someday my sister will post it on her deviantart, I'll yell at her about it until she does I am so sorryyyyyyyyyy! This chapter should give you a feel for how most chapters are going to work in this story. This chapter I started planning halfway into IJSH to be honest so I've been excited about it for a while. I hope that you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it.**

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"I've decided what to do with my life! I'm going to be a hairdresser!" I exclaimed as I entered the only course in college we all shared; Economics. Yes by the way, we all went to college together because- you know what we aren't there yet I'll explain later.

"Are you sure? I thought you were going to be a comic artist" Cordelia pointed out. You see I was always changing my mind on what I wanted to do back then, photographer was the most common but I was always uncertain.

_"Oh, so THAT's why you took all these pictures" Owain states the obvious._

_"Yes, I was quite talented if I do say so myself, I had a lot of fun with it" Anna sighs with a nostalgic smile, "but hairdressing had one of the worst results…"_

"That's all in the past, so will you all meet me in my room so that I can awaken my passion?" I pleaded of my friends.

"Isn't your room a bit small for all of us to hang out in?" Panne wondered, being the practical one, as always.

"Isn't it a little bit dangerous for someone on your level of evil to be handling scissors near people's heads on a daily basis?" Gaius wondered.

"Most of you get to hang out in the hall while I work my magic on my test subject" I chuckled demonically, ignoring Gaius.

"Test… subject? Who's that gonna be?" Stahl worriedly demanded.

"Whoever's meanest to me today I guess, so make sure you're all extra nice!" I laughed cruelly at everyone's terrified looks.

"Oh glorious Anna, our great and true goddess, please spare me from your wrath!" Logan exclaimed and bowed down.

* * *

_"What?! My dad wouldn't-" Morgan begins to interrupt._

_"Hush" Anna quickly stops her and goes back to the important stuff._

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"Is everyone ready?" I said in a sickeningly sweet way to the crowd outside of my room later that day.

"Where are Henry and Tharja?" Chrom asked me.

"They aren't coming, something about black magic club meeting" I replied simply, "first and formost! Panne I bestow upon you my camera, I won't be needing it anymore."

"Thanks… I'll take a picture of your first attempt of hairstyling" Panne promised reluctantly.

"What's in the bag?" Nowi asked and reached out for the plastic grocery bag in my hand.

"These are my supplies, scissors, shampoo that stuff" I explained and opened the bag to let her see.

"Uh, Anna this is-" Aidrian began to say as he lifted something out of the bag.

"Hush, now for the part you've all been waiting for… my test subject" I interrupted and snatched the item, replacing it into the bag.

"Who's your test subject?" Olivia worriedly asked, protectively fiddling with the ends of her hair.

"The winner is… Gaius!" I happily exclaimed and Gaius nearly spat out his candy, nearly, this is still Gaius we're talking about "for that mean comment about how I shouldn't have scissors."

"But- Anna I was kidding!" Gaius desperately attempted to save himself.

"Tut-tut, don't bother trying, it's time for you to die- I mean have your hair done!" I laughed and dragged Gaius into my room.

Now, a little while back Aidrian was about to say something but I cut him off. Aidrian still dyes his hair on a weekly basis and evidently taught his daughter to do it too, so I really should have listened to him because this is what he would have said.

"Uh, Anna this is blue hair dye."

…Yes… I dyed Gaius' hair blue.

"What have you done!" Gaius exclaimed after I was finished and the damage had been done.

"I'm sorry I didn't know!" I defended myself quickly, "and it doesn't look too bad…"

"It doesn't-! I look like _Chrom_!" Gaius exclaimed. We were still inside my room at the time so I can only imagine what Chrom was thinking outside.

"So? You and I both know that Chrom is rather popular with the female sex, maybe this is a good thing?" I offered. Again; I can only imagine.

"You have **RUINED** me!" Gaius exclaimed and exploded out of the room. Panne was prepared and kept true to her promise. She took a picture of a furious Gaius with blue hair like Chrom's with me behind him trying to calm him down.

"Woah… you do look like Chrom" Stahl observed, Gaius merely death glared at him.

"I-it's okay I'm sure it'll change back" Cordelia comforted Gaius helpfully.

"Damn it Anna the gingers are already going extinct why did you have to help the process?!" Nowi huffed.

"Hey, it was an accident! I already said that I'm sorry" I sighed in slight annoyance.

"I tried to warn you but you didn't listen, but don't even worry about it guys, that hair dye is temporary it'll be gone in a week tops"

"Thank the gods! Anna I will never forgive you for this" Gaius glared at me with a look of complete loathing.

"A pack of gobstoppers and we call it even?" I suggested pulling out the candy and waving it in front of his face.

"Deal" Gaius instantly agreed and snatched the candy right out of my hand.

"You might want to hold on to this" Panne told me just barely hiding a smile and handed me my camera.

Gaius' hair did go back to normal after a couple of weeks. He did hold a grudge about if for a very long time. Needless to say I never even _considered_ becoming a hairdresser **EVER** again ever.

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**AN: Anna dyed Gaius' hair… I'm so proud of her! This chapter was partially inspired by Summer Scramble (it inspired me to choose Gaius) and partially inspired by Hotspring Scramble (it inspired to to dye his hair blue). This chapter came really naturally it was super easy for me to write and came out pretty well if I do say so myself. Those interjection bits where Severa or Morgan or whoever interrupt the story will probably stop around chapter ten and then only show up every once in a while. And now for a preview of our next chapter**

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_Breakups:_

_"Cherche I'm so sorry that it didn't work! Don't worry I'll find you a new boyfriend!" Nowi declared as she broke into the room._

_"Mmph, no!" Cherche grimaced in disagreement, "I'm off men for the rest of my life."_

_"You don't mean that, it's okay Cherche, you just need some time to yourself" Cordelia insisted._

_"She's right, you just need time, and three gallons of chocolate ice cream" I nodded._

_"No… then I'll get fat and he'll hate me even more…" Cherche sobbed but just then Tharja entered the room with a large tub of chocolate ice cream, a scoop and a stuffed bear with black fur._

_"Uh, hi" Tharja greeted._

_"Oh Tharja you shouldn't have" Cherche said as she stood up, accepted the gifts and started shovelling ice cream into her mouth._

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**If you have any suggestions for chapters or prompt words (you may notice that each chapter is a one word title) I'm open to suggestions. Until next time this is Adagan ****_OUT_****!**


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